I decided that I need to stop trying to parent the way this book is telling me to because my instinct is telling me different. At nap time today is when I decided. After a nearly sleepless night last night I was tired and so was Rebekah. So, I decided to put her down for a nap early. I started at 11:00am. I rocked her with a bottle and she was asleep by 11:15am. So, then I rocked her until 11:30 just to make sure she was "out" before laying her down. (This was all at the expense of attention for Brigham and Hyrum. ) So, I laid her down at 11:30 and she promptly starting screaming. Patting her just made her more mad. I could hear Hyrum screaming in the other room and Brigham needed lunch soon before his nap so I left her. As I got the boys lunch and got them down for naps I thought and thought while Rebekah screamed in her crib. I was trying to decide if I was doing the right thing. Finally, I decided that she needed to learn to soothe herself. It's an important skill and the sooner she learned it the sooner we could all enjoy more sleep-including her. So, I did what I have seen and heard recommended. I went in about every 15minutes to let her know that I was there and loved her. I patted her back even though she just got more mad because she wanted to be picked up. Finally, at 1:40pm she fell asleep.
Tonight wasn't quite so bad. We told her ahead of time that she would be laid down in bed and expected to soothe herself to sleep. I told her and I had Timothy tell her so that she knew Daddy wouldn't come rescue her. Then, she screamed for only 40 minutes! I put her down at 7:05pm and I went in at 7:10, 7:20, 7:35 (by recommendation from a website to make the time a bit longer each time) By 7:45 she was "out" and she's slept soundly now for 2 hours so far! I hope she continues to improve and I hope she doesn't feel abandoned.
Here's Brigham and Hyrum sleeping too.
They already know how to self-soothe. They both suck their middle two fingers! It's funny!
Hyrum moved in permanently on Tuesday, February 17th! Today he is 4 months old! What a handsome fellow!
Wow, that's a real accomplishment, Jessica! I hope she continues to improve in the sleep department. I admire you're ability to stick to your guns through the screaming. It kinda tears at your heart, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteCongrats on getting Hyrum! When they're asleep you can really tell how much they look alike. Did you know Timothy's uncle Tim used to suck the very same fingers? Must run in the family! ;c)
That's one of the hardest things to do as a new parent... let your little one cry it out. I feel for ya. I may be calling you for strength soon - I'll be starting to let Delaney cry it out before long. I dread it, though. Breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteGOOD JOB MOMMA!!
Way to go! "Mom victories" are the best. You are so right to trust your instincts! Plus, as silly as it may sound, a quick prayer will bring you ideas you never thought of and they WORK :o) Heavenly Father, I've learned, is pulling for us mothers and will give us help no matter how small the issue is. You're an awesome mom!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I totally applaud you for STOP READING THOSE BOOKS! Well, not stop reading them, but just realizing that the author of that book has no idea who you are and is not the mommy or daddy of your child. I think kids know when their parents love them by the time they spend with them when they are awake, not asleep. :-) But that's coming from a mom who's kids started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks...Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteJessica, I totally applaud you for putting the book down! All the "parenting" books *although I've never read one for adopted children* are helpful, but that author has no idea who you are and is not the Mommy or Daddy of your child. Rebekah will know you love her by the time you spend with her while she's awake, not asleep. But that's coming from the Mom who's kids started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and haven't had a problem since...good luck with everything!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you're doing. I think there are tons of books out there that tell mothers a certain way they should do things and we get all worried that we're not doing things the "right" way, but I think the holy ghost can guide us better than any of those things. I hate when I have to do this with my kids, but we know it's important for them to learn, so we do it! I hope it continues to work out and that soon she can go to sleep quickly on her own.
ReplyDeleteRight now I'm having to practically starve my 2 year old because she'll sit at the table for an hour without eating. I've decided she's got to learn to eat a meals, so I just stick her food back in the fridge until the next meal and see if she'll eat it then.
I think you're doing a great job, Jessica. You're seeking out information, and then going with your instincts. Screaming and crying is so hard to listen to when you're a parent, because you naturally want to sooth, and you also want it to stop! I hope that you get more and more sleep. Sounds like you're on the right course. (And if you need to change course, that's okay, too!)
ReplyDeleteYes, I totally get want you are going through. It just may be a little calic. Christina put me through that for a little bit. It does tear at you to hear them cry. She will learn that you aren't going anywhere.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with the bottle, they hooked on them for sure. If you put her down with a bottle just have water in it as milk or anything else for that matter has sugar and other things in it that will eat at their teeth. I tried that with both kids and the funny thing was they figured out that they weren't going to get anything else but water and they stopped wanting one within two weeks of water...lol
Good luck on the sleep. They are adorable ;)
jessica I'm proud of you too! you are doing great, esp by following your instincts!! I'm going to assume that things will continue to improve!! yay!
ReplyDeleteps I felt really guilty when Darik MADE me stop going to soothe ellie. She's been a good sleeper ever since.
YOu are doing everything right. Follow your gut. After Busy was born the P-man started waking up and staying awake for a few hours each night, we would rock him, sing to him, finally we just marched him back to bed, after a few nights he was sleeping through again. You know your little girl and she knows you love her. Way to go mama. Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteConrats on the sleep - you are getting more than I am. I would love to let him cry it out, but he's still so little. Once I feel that he is getting enough in him to last longer than 3-4 hours I will definately be letting sleep. Your kids are so precious. I can't wait until they are legally yours.
ReplyDelete