So, normally when a couple adopts a child there is a mediation agreement. Meaning some sort of contact or no-contact expected between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. Well, our case was sent to a mediation company and the mediation worker drafted a mediation agreement that we were comfortable with. That agreement was then presented to the children's birth parents. The birth parents didn't agree with it because they wanted visits with the children after the adoption was final. And visits for other extended family members as well. So, the worker told them she'd talk with us about it and get back to them. So, she did of course and recommended we didn't agree to visits (which we weren't considering anyway.) After that she tried to get a hold of them and get them to sign the agreement (with no visits), but they never responded during the time frame they were given. So, in short we don't have any obligation to them to write letters or send pictures. We really couldn't anyway because we don't have an address for them. We were supposed to get a contact address when we signed the agreement.
Anyway, the children's birth mother's mother (children's birth grandma) contacted Hyrum's case worker to send gifts to the children and birthday cards. So, I sent an anonymous letter back thanking her for those things and sent a few pictures of the children in some outfits she sent. Well, she was so grateful for these that she called the case worker again and was wanting contact with us so that she could continue to be in touch with the children. Obviously, we are under no obligation to do anything for her, but my heart goes out to this woman who has lost three of her grandchildren. So, we've been thinking and talking about different ways we could keep her updated without having to go through a lot of work. And we're thinking that giving her this blog address might be a good way for her to see how the children are doing without me having to write letters and send pictures.
We're wondering if any of you are willing to look through this site and see if you can find any identifying information on it. We don't want to give out our last name or where we live or any way of physically contacting us. I'm going to delete this post before I give her the blog address. And if you have links to our page from yours please make sure it's labeled only with first names. Thanks everyone.
I did a double check, and you look good to go! We opened our blog to our birth family, too, but actually made another copy to an address only they have. This limits them to not seeing comments from others, and having other peoples last names who post comments....(like Katie has her last name when she comments.) I blog on our open site, then export it into the second blog for them. Safer, I think.
ReplyDeleteBirth family relations are such a matter of the heart, aren't they? It is sweet to remember we are all God's family, and this blog will be a tender gift for this grandma.
That is a touchy thing. I guess I would almost feel hesitant, because you couldn't post certain things for your family and friends, because you'd need to be careful. You know? Like even a picture that happened to have an address behind it . . What if you created a blog just for her? My family has a "Blog" more like a posting board thing that we use through Yahoo Groups. You can post pictures and messages. It's just not in this format. Just a thought or suggestion to make it easy for her to be updated, but easy for you to control in terms of info given, and comments made. Good luck with this. It's been so great to see your family grow!
ReplyDeleteI'll check your blog, too, for identifying information, but I agree with Liz. Maybe do a blog just for her.
ReplyDeleteYou're a good woman, Jessica!!